At what age do you think it's appropriate to let children choose their own clothes to wear? How many times do you let them change their mind about what to wear that day? Do you make your children fold up their clothes and put them away if they change their mind? Do you set their clothes out the night before?
I know that many parents struggle with a morning routine Monday through Friday....there's a lot to do to get out of the door in time for school and I know that those children without a school uniform can take up plenty of time just figuring out what to wear (especially the girls it seems).
Being a nanny for 20 years I have seen it all. From the overbearing parent who has to match their children no matter what to the pushed around parent who can't seem to say no to their child and may go through multiple outfits in a morning before a decision has been made!
I think it's great to give children a choice but to keep it realistic to their age group. For example take a 2 or 3 year old getting dressed for the day....there is simply too much choice when you say "what would you like to wear today" and give them their entire wardrobe to choose from....it's overwhelming to them. Too much choice, they wouldn't know where to start plus they're not able to gauge weather conditions and pick out appropriate clothes either. You could find yourself arguing over Elmo shorts in the dead of winter.....which wouldn't be such a problem....if you lived in Australia. You could also set yourself up for a major temper tantrum if you give them choice and then keep saying no when they pick inappropriate items.
For such a young age it is better to present them with a choice of 2 items....the blue shirt or the green shirt...you can pick out the rest of the clothing which not only helps confirm that you have the upper hand but also to hopefully guide them in putting together an outfit for later on when they have to do it themselves.
Getting dressed is a good conversation starter for a problem solving situation. You could talk about the weather if it's hot or cold and what kind of clothing do they think would be appropriate for the day. Maybe the night before check the weather forecast (cos that's always soooo reliable - insert sarcasm) and pick out the clothes for the next day. Unless the weather has changed it's a good idea to stick to what you pulled out....it will make your morning routine a lot smoother.
Of course there will be the odd temper tantrum that will break out due to changes of mind. Obviously no one wants to go through this situation but I see parents back down far too many times. (I started writing about temper tantrums just now and then erased the whole thing....that topic is a post unto itself....more to come on this at a later date).
Maybe you don't encounter these problems in your household, lucky you! In my career it's not unheard of for me to have arrived at work and come across a roomful of strewn clothes. Usually girls deciding what to wear and going through a number of outfits before the most desirable one is found....I myself have done this many a time when going out for the night....and then you roll in at 2 a.m. and can't find your bed! So you see, I can empathize.
When this happens in a job situation I put all the clothes to one side on the bed or the chair and wait for the children to come home....then they have the delightful task of folding up all their clothes and putting them away....and just because a child is young it doesn't mean to say that they can't have a go....I'm not expecting neat folds just an attempt at a shape that might fit in the drawer....and I sit down with the children and teach them how to fold all their various clothes. "I can't do it" doesn't fly with me! Having gone through this experience a number of times it's amazing that when these children realize the clothes won't magically fold and tuck themselves neatly in the drawer, this situation tends to happen less and less!
Unfortunately I have worked in very affluent households with a team of staff who's job it is to make sure there would be no such mess lying around....these children never really get to realize the responsibility of taking care of their clothes until much later on in life when they have to fend for themselves.
I'm not trying to make it a punishment when I tell children to tidy up after themselves it's just a life lesson learned. Someone takes time and trouble to launder, iron and fold their clothes and just a little respect needs to be reinforced at times. So how do you handle these sort of situations in your house? Or are you respected so deeply by your children that you're shaking your head wondering what on earth I'm talking about! Just curious to know what everyone else goes through and how they handle it.
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